I've been ~2 months from missing rent having to move my family into a van. At that level of desperation, you're willing to stomach a lot of non-ideal companies. If I didn't get that (as it turns out, terrible) programming job, my next step would have been to try to get a job stocking shelves at Home Depot.

Holy hell. Wow that's harsh, I'm super glad you are employed now (even a terrible programming job is better than a home depot job) and that ordeal is behind you. This lousy economic cycle will eventually reverse a bit and we will hopefully all have some more leeway to find better employment.